


Carry On - Coda

by immertreu



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bobby Singer (mentioned) - Freeform, Carry On (Supernatural), Coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Friendship, Gen, Jack Kline (mentioned) - Freeform, Spoilers for Carry On, castiel (mentioned) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28195029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immertreu/pseuds/immertreu
Summary: What the title says. Sam and Dean get finally reunited but nothing is ever easy with the Winchesters... Warning: Spoilers for the finale!
Kudos: 1





	Carry On - Coda

A/N: Warning: Spoilers for the finale, obviously.

**Carry On – Coda**

November 24, 2020

by immertreu

*******************************

After an eternity of gazing peacefully out over the river, with Dean's arm still slung around his shoulders, Sam heaved a deep, weary sigh.

Dean's big brother instincts flared to life immediately. Not looking at Sam, he quietly asked, “What's wrong?”

Sam sighed again, then tried to laugh, a watery chuckle which made Dean turn around to get a better look at his brother. Surely heaven wasn't that bad already?

Sam wouldn't return his gaze but stood staring at the flowing water with suspiciously bright eyes.

“Sam?” Dean tried again, gently grabbing his brother's closest arm and turning him around to face him. “Are you hurt?”

“What?” Sam finally looked at him in his surprise. “No, of course not! I mean, we are in heaven, right?” He suddenly seemed unsure and startled around to take in their surroundings. “I made it, didn't I?” Close to panic, he took a step, but Dean stopped him with a restraining grip on his arm before he could get anywhere.

“Of course we're in heaven. Look at all this!” He encompassed the beautiful scenery in a wide, sweeping gesture, then motioned at Sam, himself, and the Impala with the old Kansas license plate parked in the middle of the bridge. “We made it, all right.”

A pause.

“No,” Sam protested quietly. Brokenly. “We didn't.”

Now it was Dean's turn to stare at him in incomprehension. “What? What do you mean?” 

Okay, so yes, they'd both died to get here, but this was heaven, for crying out loud! They were supposed to be at peace. They were together again. And... _Oh._ “Um, Sam,” he began, not sure how to phrase his question. “Don't take this the wrong way, man, because I'm very happy to see you and all, but... How old are you?”

Sam flinched, then tried to mask his reaction as a shrug, but he didn't reply.

Suddenly angry, Dean got into his face. “You look no older than the last time I saw you,” he almost snarled, heaven's peace and serenity forgotten. “Don't tell me you committed suicide by vampire!” he challenged.

“What? No!” Now Sam's temper flared, too. “I didn't kill myself either, if that's what you're implying.”

“Oh. Good.” Dean deflated, feeling relieved. “Then...?”

“I died at 77, in my own bed, if you must know!” Sam flung the words at him like a challenge. “I tried to take what you said to heart! I lived a long, simple life, married, had a kid, died of old age. Happy!?” He turned away from Dean, not meeting his gaze any longer.

“Okay, okay.” Dean raised his hands in surrender, miserable with how this reunion was going after that first joyful hug. Trust Sam to arrive with a heavy load of emotional baggage. “Then why aren't you...?” He gestured helplessly. 

Sam got his meaning, though. “Happy?” he asked again, sarcastically, staring his brother down. “I went on without you for 40 years, you jerk! Forgive me for taking some time to adjust!” he spat. 

Dean shrunk back as if struck.

The words tumbled from Sam's mouth in one mad rush now. They had been decades in the making, apparently. 

“I tried to keep my promise and actually live! I adopted your dog. I did some odd hunting jobs here and there. I read books, I took vacations at the beach.” He took a breath. “I was so lonely because everyone I'd ever known, everyone who had ever _really_ known you, was gone or had moved on. For years, there was no one I could even tell stories about what we'd been through.” He turned mournful, angry eyes on Dean. “Even when I finally settled down and got married, there was no one who came even close to understanding my nightmares or why certain dates made me curl up in bed for days on end.”

Dean swallowed but didn't dare to interrupt his brother. He deserved to hear every word of this, every single syllable that cut into his heart.

“I couldn't go to therapy, of course, because they would have locked me up and thrown away the key. I tried AA meetings, NA, every church and self-help group I could think of, but I had to keep lying to them because they simply. Could. Not. Understand!” He was shouting now, desperate to get it all out. “Not even my wife! The only person I could really talk to, and who listened without judging me, was my son.” He took a deep breath, trying to reign in his temper and not break down completely over his confession. His expressive eyes swam in tears. “I named him Dean.” 

Misinterpreting Dean's jerk at the revelation, his next words came out in a whisper. “His name is Dean.” His voice broke on that last syllable. “And isn't that the most pathetic thing you've ever heard?”

He was crying in earnest now, silent tears streaming down his once-again young face. And Dean didn't think, he just stepped forward and wrapped his little brother in another bear hug, not letting go even when Sam tried to push him away. “No,” he mumbled into the mass of Sam's hair. “I'm not letting you go this time.” 

His ban on chick flick moments and hugs be damned! Sam needed to hear this. Again. And that particular holey boat had sunk the day of their heart-to-heart in the barn anyway. 

For him it felt like only yesterday.

Eventually, his baby brother's freakishly long arms came up and held on to the back of his jacket for dear life. Familiar. Painful. Perfect.

“I'm sorry I made you...” Dean swallowed painfully and tried again.”I shouldn't have asked that of you. I just wanted you to be happy, you know. You deserved the world. I tried to give it to you, but I couldn't.” He finally drew back a little and looked into his brother's wounded eyes. “I didn't want to die, but I knew I had reached the end of the line. I'm glad I got to say goodbye to you, though. I'm glad you made a family of your own. And I'm honored you named my nephew after me.” He smiled, bouncing a little on his toes at the happy thought. His nephew! “Is he handsome like me? Or is he a giant like you?” he teased, finally giving his brother some space to breathe.

Sam snorted, a wet, ugly sound, but he scrubbed a hand under his nose and tried to smile nonetheless. “He's got his mother's dark hair and fair complexion, but the rest of him is pure Winchester. Unfortunately, he also inherited Dad's stubbornness.” He chuckled and scrubbed a hand across his wet face. “You would be proud of him.”

“Of course I would!” Dean exclaimed, glad to see some color and life returning to Sam's face. “His name is Dean Winchester! Man, that's awesome!” He grinned, his devil-may-care grin he hadn't had reason to use in ages. “You need to tell me all about him. And his mom. And what you did when you retired from hunting – if you retired, that is. I'm assuming they know the truth about all the things that go bump in the night?” Seeing Sam's nod, he added, “Good. Because that means there's still a Winchester down there, alive and kicking monster butt.” Suddenly gleeful, he threw his brother a shrewd gaze. “Can you imagine the look on any vampire's face when they realize they are about to be killed by Dean Winchester?”

Sam threw him his patented irritated-little-brother-face in return. 

Dean deflated. “Sorry. Still too soon for vampire jokes?” 

His brother simply nodded and turned away, and Dean clapped him on the back. “Got it. So, you wanna go see Mom and Dad?”

Sam's head whipped around so fast Dean actually heard the crick in his neck. _Ouch, that's gonna hurt for a while. Or maybe not! This is heaven, after all._

His little brother didn't seem to notice. He stared at Dean like he'd just hung the stars and the moon for him. It was a look Dean hadn't seen in far too long. 

“They're here?” Sam asked breathlessly.

“Of course.” Dean shrugged, trying not to look too impatient at his brother's obtuseness. His drive with Baby had been nice and all, but now that Sam was finally here, he really wanted to go see who else lived in their own little corner of heaven. Besides Bobby, of course. “I met Bobby when I arrived. I haven't had much time to explore yet.” He grimaced at his choice of words and hurried on, “But it seems Jack and Cas cleaned up heaven and restored it to what it was supposed to be. Everyone can live wherever and with whoever they want. Heaven seems to be pretty much...heavenly...now.” 

“Huh.” Sam looked at him in contemplation. “So... Cas is here, too?” 

Dean hummed. “Seems so.”

“You haven't talked to him yet?” Sam asked incredulously. “Or Jack?”

“No, Sam, I haven't!” Dean tried not to snap at him, not too keen on yet another round of fighting. “In case you hadn't realized, I arrived here not even a day ago. Or it feels that way, at least. Bobby says time moves differently up here. I haven't been...anywhere...yet. I arrived, I got in the car, I stopped to get some air. And you popped up.”

Sam didn't say anything, and Dean raised his arms to his sides in frustration. “What, dude?” 

Looking thoughtful, Sam nodded to himself. “Nothing.” 

Dean decided not argue with the recently deceased and turned toward the car. “Come on, then. Let's go meet everyone. And maybe stop for a beer and a burger on the way.” Time to celebrate their reunion the proper Winchester way.

Sam's answering smile was as unexpected as it was mischievous. “I'm driving.”

Dean finally laughed. And threw him the keys.

They stopped next to Baby, both with their hands on the doors, but not getting in just yet.

“Dean?”

Damn, but Sam sounded so small again. Dean tried to smile in encouragement. Some things never changed, even in death. Or heaven. Or...whatever. Apparently, they weren't done yet. “Yeah, Sammy?”

His brother opened his mouth, closed it, began again. “You know, I tried to be happy.” He winced and hurried on, “I mean, I think I was happy, sometimes. I loved my family. And my house. And even my car.” He patted the Impala on the roof, and Dean couldn't help but grin.

“You kept her, huh?” he asked, still smiling. 

“Of course!” Sam sounded affronted. “She was...” He trailed off, but Dean heard him nonetheless. _Yours. Our home. The only thing we ever really owned for most of our lives._

“But?” Dean prompted when nothing else was forthcoming. 

“But,” Sam sighed. “It was never... _I_ was never the same again. I could've needed you, man.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, I would've liked for you to teach Dean how to drive. How to shoot a gun. How to talk to girls.” He grinned self-deprecatingly, trying to lighten the mood. “I tried my best, but...” He went silent for a moment. “It was just so hard, you know.”

Yes, Dean did know. And he'd only lived with Lisa and Ben for a year, alone and with a pain he hadn't been able to name even in the privacy of his own mind. 

Dean still had all his memories of his time on Earth, of course, but the feelings he associated with certain painful elements of their story were muted, the scars scabbed over and not hurting him anymore. Maybe the transition to heaven had been easier for him because his life had been much shorter? Because he'd made his peace with his fate of dying bloody when he was still young? Or maybe it was simply because he'd been here much longer than Sam even though it didn't feel like it. Besides, his own demise had been an escape from a painful death. Sure, he'd had to leave Sam behind, but he'd known his brother would survive on his own. And that they would see each other again.

Sam on the other hand... He'd been fighting his fight for so long, apparently with no one really having his back until little Dean came along. And even then the child had to grow up, first. Needed to be protected and taught and loved unconditionally. 

Smiling wistfully, Dean looked up at Sam over the roof of the car. “I would have to liked to see it,” he said.

Sam raised an eyebrow in question.

“You and the kid. Throwing around a ball in the park. Doing his homework. Going for joyrides with my Baby.” He smiled to take the sting out of his words. “I'm sure you're a great dad. And I'm really sorry I missed it. But I'm going to meet him one day. And your wife. And probably his wife, and his kids, and a bunch of grandkids, too.” He was really warming to the idea. “Can you imagine heaven filled with dozens of little – or maybe not so little – Winchesters?” 

His brother regarded Dean with a look that was pure Sam: fond, exasperated, trusting. Loving. Then he grinned – the infectious, innocent, gleeful smile he'd had as a young boy and sometimes even after Stanford, before dying and Hell and Lucifer. “Can you imagine Bobby having to 'babysit' all of them? Telling them to leave his books alone or give him his whiskey and his beer back?”

Now Dean started to grin, too. “Can you picture him surrounded by all those awesome little copies of you (with a little bit of my awesomeness thrown in), telling stories about us?”

Sam started to chuckle, then laugh. “Yeah. And you know what the best part is?”

Dean shook his head, happy to see his brother's playful side returning. It was about damn time.

“The stories are all true. We'll be heroes and never have to fetch our own beers ever again.” Still chuckling, Sam finally opened the driver's door and got into the car, ready to enjoy this strange new world.

Dean rapped his knuckles on the roof of their Baby. “We already are,” he muttered, mostly to himself, and finally got in as well.

They were home.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I wrote this in one day because there were some things I needed to get off my chest after watching the finale, but then I wasn't sure I should post it. I kept fiddling with it until I finally decided to post it after all. So here we are. Like it? Don't like it? See a typo? Let me know in the comments or if you want to talk about anything Supernatural. :)


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